Tuesday, May 10, 2016

My last day as a 45 year OLD woman.

You know all those things you have always wanted
to do? You should do them.

I'm on vacation! Yay!! Mark is not..boo :(  

Mark had work meetings he could not get out of so he asked me to come and stay with him so that we could explore and do dinner.  The hotel is right off the Ventura pier and it's been so nice waking up to the sound of the ocean. So here I am hanging out in the city of Ventura. 

On my last day as a 45 year OLD woman I decided to go on a shopping trip.  I went to the Camarillo Outlets all.by.my.self. If you know me you will know this is totally out of my comfort zone. I rarely go shopping alone, I just hate it. ANYWAY... shopping. I went to all 3 sections of the outlets and just walked around. It was odd I wasn't in the mood to shop. I bought a few items that I am happy with but I really do need new clothes.  I don't know what triggered it but as I was changing in the dressing room I started crying. I was happy, I was sad, I was just emotional.  I hate shopping. I always hated buying new clothes. I had to buy things to hide my belly, or jeans/pants that fit me around the belly but were super long. Today it felt good to buy clothes that are not in the double digits and size MEDIUM shirts. What! Me a medium?? YES! I actually checked myself out in the mirror and I smiled at myself. I rarely smile at myself. 

I also had dunner with the sweetest friend from High School. We reconnected on Facebook and when she found out I was staying near by where she lives we just had to meet. I was telling Mark that  I haven't seen her since 10th grade. Social media is awesome. I'm always up to seeing old friends. I loved catching up with her. Danielle THANK YOU!! Our dinner meant more to me than you will ever know.  

July 2013  |     May 2016   
I've been trying to document my weight loss journey but honestly I'm not very good at it. While I may talk about how happy I am and how wonderful I feel, truth be told this shit is HARD!! Going to my boot camp after work is hard. I'm stressed out and tired and what I really want to do is go home and sit my butt on the sofa and eat some strawberry ice cream. But no, I have a goal. At first it was a weight loss goal but now not so much. I want to feel good. I like feeling good. No wait I fucking love feeling good!! Just a year ago I was getting cortisone shots in my knees and hip. I walked with a limp and walking up a flight of stairs killed my knees. Now I'm able to run and take a flight of stairs like nothing. 

In so many ways I wish I could have written myself a letter. My 44/45 year old self to myself today. Something in the lines that all the hard work will ould pay off. Celebrate the little success and never ever give up. Embrace changes, listen and learn. Be confident!

My weight loss journey is not over I feel like it's just begun. I've recently started a vegan based diet. I do add fish to my diet, but I try to limit it to 3-4 times a week. I love trying out new vegan recipes. I cook tofu. I eat tons of vegetables. Lots of black beans and garbanzo beans. It all started when my boot camp offered a 28 weight loss challenge where you eat alkaline foods and use products from SEVENPOINT2 - The Alkaline diet. It's been a huge eye opener for me. I never thought much about how acidic my body could be. I've had stomach issues for years. I've had to be careful with what I ate because certain foods caused me to go running to the toilet or heartburn.. oh that is the worst. I haven't had any heart burn in weeks now. I'm still doing the shakes and eating mostly all alkaline foods. These last 2 weeks I haven't been as strict and I need to get back on my nutrition plan. Mark is so adorable he is now doing this whole "Would Bucket eat that? No. Then I shouldn't either." I call that a WIN! How often he does it who knows but just knowing that he does pay attention is awesome.  Gotta love him. 

I'm looking forward to being 46. 46. 46. 46. I mean look at Jennifer Lopez -  woman is hot and she is 46. Whatever. It's just a number .. right?