not so perfect

For the last week I've been getting up and doing a few dance moves, see the inspiration below.
I've heard it said that dancing makes people smile. And it's true. Try dancing with a frown and I bet you can't. It's not that I have anything to be sad about but I'm just dancing to dance. I've got moves NOBODY should ever see, so dancing by myself is the way to go.  

Putting away my medals
This past weekend I was cleaning my bedroom. After months of training and not being home it was a much needed thing to do.  I made a decision to put away my medals. Why? Sometimes a fresh start is in order. At least that is what I told myself. As I was taking all my medals off their hook I didn't quite as gently put them on the floor - then I heard this 'CRACK'. It was my Barbs Race Medal. :( I sat down and cried. Yeah I know..a little too emotional for most but that medal meant so much to me. *Sigh* broken. Shit happens and I'm going to try and crazy glue it back together. I've got tons of medals and all have a special place in my heart but last years Barbs Race meant a lot. 

9 more days
The Nautica Malibu Triathlon is coming up in 9 days. I haven't really been thinking much about it. I'm still swimming, biking, and running (well..OK walking) and getting ready for it. I keep hearing from people around me that if the waves are too big that day they may cancel the swim portion. At work I sit near the team who is part of putting on the race and wozers they go through a lot to put on such a huge event. I know the triathlon fundraisers have already raised over $1 million dollars. It's so amazing! It's been pretty cool to talk to my co-workers about training also. Last year since I got here later in the year I didn't sign up to participate with the CHLA team. I'm actually pretty excited for race day.  Signing up with the team has also given me a chance to meet more of my co-workers. With my work load and what I do I don't actually get to really talk to everyone. All I ever hear is 'Oh you are Susan'. I smile and say 'Yep that's me'.

Labor Day Weekend...........FUN
Went on an awesome bike ride with friends. 

I looked up at one point and realized I was down the street from my aunts house.

 This picture totally makes me smile. Little Zachy is loving the goggles I got him. At one point I saw him trying to mimic my swimming. So ADORABLE!  

Here is a picture of the grandbaby. I can't wait for him to stay awake longer and to start smiling. It's as if he is always thinking 'I'm not sure if I like you yet.'

Sometimes he looks like my son and sometimes he looks like his mom. I think he looks more like his mom.  He truly is a mixture of both of them.
 

what happened..

It's not fun you know, to DNF but I'm over it. It's taken me a whole month to write about it. 

What happened. Have I mentioned I have blood sugar issues. Yep, it runs in the family. While I don't have full blown diabetes I do have it. I have always had blood sugar issues but not until I was older did it get bad. 

Anyway, I didn't follow my race plan. Didn't eat my healthy breakfast. Didn't continue to hydrate before the race, it was a hot day and well I ruined my race. It didn't help that I had been sick the the last 2 weeks before the race so I was already dehydrate from all the sinus medicines I had been taking. Some people will say yeah I had a friend who did the race and she was sick with a cold and she was fine - SO WHAT. Good for them. Sorry I'm being bitter, I'm not a bitter person I swear. Everyone is different - i just hate that people talk behind my back. That bucket - she just gave up - you weren't there so how would you know? See not bitter.

My race stopped when I got to Bike Sag 1 (mile 18 I think). I had been seeing stars while riding my bike and was like whoah..what is going on. I started hydrating like crazy and was OK for a bit but when I stopped at SAG I was all shaky. I didn't even realize it until one of the volunteers grabbed my bike to steady me. That is when everything went black. And that is also the point when the race ended for me. SUCKS. And there goes my goal of completing 2 half Ironman's this summer. 

What's next? I'm still training but on a smaller scale, training for Nautica Malibu Triathlon - classic distance. First and foremost I have to get physically healthy. My hip feels a LOT better. I 'tried' running on it last weekend, but that was after swimming and biking - and it was OK. Not going to say it was 100% it was just OK. Did it hurt? Yep. Like really bad. Nope. Next time I'll tape it up and see how that does. Taping does wonders!! I LOVE Rocket Tape and Rocket Sauce - just had to add that in.

Meet Barbara. Sweet as pie! I met her through my friend Tina. Curtis is a fellow teammate. We all kept an eye on each other during one of our open water swims. It is nice to show up to a totally new team practice and see familiar faces. 

We swam in the ocean once and well it was amazing. I've only ever said that a few times. I did have a bit of a panic attack. I had to calm my nerves and relax. This time I had no familiar faces around me so I just stopped looked up at the clouds and smiled. I remembered what Coach Kevin once told me 'Just look up and enjoy the calmness. Clam your breathing. Breathe in - breath out'. It took a few minutes but I was OK. It's a struggle for me still. I do wonder if I will actually ever enjoy it. I hope to. So many of my friends love it. It's like goat cheese - either you love it or you don't. 

---

This isn't training related, but I just have to share. 

 

My baby is now a daddy. 

That makes me a grandma. WHAT! Yep. I'm a grandma. 

He is perfect! No really. He keeps his parents up and he loves to eat, shit, and sleep - on repeat all day long.His name is Nicholas Alexander and he was born on August 2nd.

Here is a more recent picture. I feel like he is looking at me and thinking..so this is the one .. the one my dad warned me about - His mom. She gives way to many kisses and is always taking pictures. Yes little Nicky - I am that grandma.  He is going to be so spoiled - with hugs, kisses, and love.

 

 

3 more days until Barbs Race an all Womans Half Ironman Event

But first a recap from last year 'Click here to read it'. 

I just read it, and realized maybe all this stress and anxiety I am feeling now is the same exact thing I felt last year. I am more prepared this year then I was last year. My training was a little bit different this season. I did more this season then last season. More midweeks - actually I did my midweeks. Last year I had the job from hell and I wasn't able to attend midweek practices. Even with my hip injury I didn't let it stop me from doing what I had to do. 

Coach Riz left this on my car last year, actually I still have that note. I didn't have much confidence in myself and was afraid. After this note she left me I knew I had it in me to complete this event. If she had confidence in me I had to have the confidence in me. 
 

This year Mark will be there to cheer me on. I'll be honest, a lot of people don't get it. Why do all of this, just for a medal? It's not about the medal. I am pretty much an open book, but I am also a closed book. I know a lot of people look at me and say really..just give up. It's that 'Just give up' look that they give me that pushes me to continue on. It's also my drive and determination to help raise funds to cure cancer. I have lots of talks with my Tia Andrea. What would she tell me. What did she tell me. She always supported me in my fundraising. Always told me she was proud of me for doing this. OK can't type anymore - shit.    

and with that...3 more days.

Week 26 - Vineman is Coming up Barbs race in 2 weeks

Ironman 70.3 Vineman is coming up. Yay Yay blah. I am not racing. :(  I had all these huge goals this triathlon season and I feel like a failure to myself. But wait...I have succeed with many of my goals, but my failure only comes in the sense where my goal was to complete 2 half Ironman events in July. I am still doing Barbs Race 70.3, just not Vineman. 

Coach Javi and Coach Riz had a chat with me about a week back. Being realistic I will not make the cut off times for the Vineman event.

 

So if you are new to this triathlon stuff this is how it goes. We swim in waves according to age. My age group starts at 8:18 am. The first swimmers start at 6:36 am. [This is when lying about my age would have been a good thing!!! Ok screw it, if y'all think I look like I'm in my early 30's I AM! I've been lying about being 44. No really I'm 34, can I swim in wave 2 please.] My goal for this season was to get faster and honestly I'm not sure I pulled it off. I just looked at my results from last years Barbs race and it doesn't look to hot for me. 

I was doing great and... well could it be the hip injury? I don't know. It's disappointing. I'm not going to lie! I'm looking at my bike times from my training weekends and I'm trying to figure out what am I doing wrong. No wait I have improved - a little. My average bike time at Barb's race was an average of 11.1. I know I can do better and I have. For this type of race, on the bike is where most people make up a lot of time. If I even biked just a little faster I think I would have made the bike cut off time. 

Anyway the point....I'm not doing Vineman but I am doing Barbs Race. The more I repeat it the less tears I have about it. As the saying goes I'm taking the bull by the horns.

   
So. What else can I talk about. Swimming in the Ocean. 

This is the 1st time I've smiled since going in the ocean. OK for some swimming at Belmont Shores may not be swimming in the actual ocean, but for me it was perfect. It's salt water, I swam in my wet suit and YAY for no waves knocking me down. I needed the time in my wet suit and it felt amazing. 

Thanks for the invite Tina! It was a great swim and I felt so relaxed out there. I love my wet suit! OK No I don't, but this time I wasn't rushing to rip it off. 

I did go swimming in the actual ocean the next day (7/5). This was my mindset - and children sorry for my cursing - I said FUCK IT and ran in and didn't stop until I reached calmer water. Basically i swam  until I got past the wave brakes. Stupid waves. Once out there..lets just say..I don't like swimming in open water. I know people love it, I keep saying I will learn to love it, I don't love it. I do it because I know it will make me a strong swimmer, but really...REALLY? Yeah really. The main thing for me is not to be alone. I hate swimming alone and that is when I freak out. I need a permanent swim buddy attached to me. #truth 

Are you still reading this? 

Check out these cuties. 

      
In this picture my booger felt his little booger kick him. So precious. 

 I just LOVE LOVE LOVE this one. I know they are going to make great parents. Mark and I attended a baby shower that Natalie's family threw her. I won't lie it makes me cry. I miss not seeing my son, but then I see why he is always with Natalie and her family - they really are great to him. In her family there are so many little ones, makes me happy to know little Nicky is going to have so many cousins. 

Natalie got me this t-shirt for my birthday. I can't wait to wear it! The word 'Grandma' is still freaking me out a bit but I am sure I will embrace it when the time comes. According to Natalie's grandma the baby should be coming on the next full moon - which is this weekend. Poor thing has been on bed rest since early June, so wishing her an easy delivery [actual due date is 8/15]. 

That is all for now.
Work is CRAZY. I'm a little sick and really exhausted. I can not wait to cheer my friends on at Ironman 70.3 Vineman this weekend. They are amazing cancer fighters!! 

See you next week..I'm not done yet!

 

Week 24 - 3 more weeks until Vineman 70.3 and 5 more weeks until Barbs race

Training weekend fun!! 
It's always interesting to travel with a bunch of women. You get to see who over packs and who always forgets something. I had 2 bags plus my bike. I'm a little OCD, maybe -  no I'm not, but I pack my training clothing in large zip lock bags. This baggie here is for the swim on Friday. This baggie here is for Saturday's training day, etc. I'm always afraid I will forget something so packing it in large zip lock bags ensures I have my stuff together. Doesn't mean I don't over pack - I bring 10 CO2 cartridges, 5 spare tubes, 3 pairs of goggles ( you never know when you might break a pair),and I also pack my 20 swim caps (no really I do) it depends on my mood which one I will wear.

 

We left my house at about 9:30pm or so. Our goal was to drive to Hotel #1. Sleep and enjoy Casa de Fruta for a bit.  I always have plans in my head but because of time constraints we didn't get to do all I had envision. It's hard when you want to do so much in the little amount of time you have. We visited Casa de Banos, Casa de Wine, Casa de Fruta, Casa de Choo Choo, etc. Everything there started began with a 'Casa'. It was cute. 

 

 

The one thing I did want to do...was go to the Lululemon Outlet in the city of Gilroy, CA. I didn't find what I wanted, but that is OK I got this really cute grey Iconic Wrap except mine didn't have a hood like the one pictured in the link. I don't normally spend that much money on myself but I couldn't resist. On the hanger it wasn't that pretty. On it was adorable. And you can wear it in so many different styles. OK so I spoiled myself a bit but so worth it. 

 

 

After our little shopping spree we headed on out to Windsor, CA. The NASCAR race was also happening in the area so we had to take a slight detour to get away from the traffic. I loved the blue sky's, it just felt so fresh and clean out there. Even with the smell of the cows, *SNIFF* oh yeah freshness. 

  

First thing on our training weekend agenda - lets go for a swim in the Russian River. Now this is an open water swim I can tackle. The water is warm. No waves. Only thing I need now is some confidence in the wet suit. I don't know why but I've been having this 'thing' with my wet suit. I feel like I can't breathe in it. I know it's a mental thing. As a matter of fact I think my wet suit maybe a little big on me but I still feel like I can't move in it. It's so frustrating. Anyone know of someone who can hypnotize the fear out of me.     

Selfie's after our swims and more photos of the Russian River area.  

 

This street sign is pretty famous. The infamous Chalk hill. I will admit as I was riding our bike course on Saturday I remember saying to myself - gosh why does it feel so easy? Not easy because the ride is easy, but easy because I wasn't nervous. I knew what to expect and when to expect it. The most awesome part being when there is this one hill right on Canyon Road (mile 26) where I remember that hill being much bigger and longer. As I kept riding I kept thinking..humm... I don't think this is the hill that I struggled on last year. No I'm positive this isn't the hill. Actually it was the hill. I rode up that hill with no problem. I just kept peddling and wow..it was nice. When I got to the half way point where Coach Andi was at - mile 29.2 - I felt pretty good. I did start to get that ache in my hip - I made a mental note for race day carry a baggie for ice. But still I kept on and was ready to tackle Chalk Hill. 

When I hit Chalk Hill I was OK for most of the way. I kept peddling and ouch. :( Yep my hip. Not to worry I told myself. Walk that damn hill but do it as fast as you can (I talk to myself a lot). As I was walking up the hill I saw Petty (a former teammate). It was so good to have someone up there checking on me. She asked if I needed anything and honestly no. As soon as I got to the top of the hill I hopped on my bike and kept on riding. I just wanted to get the ride over with at that point. That was at about mile 44. 12 more miles to go. As soon as I passed Chalk Hill I was riding when I hear a honk and a Go Bucket Go. I had no idea who it was (at first) but I smiled lifted my arm and said 'Hey'. I have a bad habit of saying 'HEY' if I have no idea who it is. But I always ackowledge the 'Go Bucket Go', hey is my way of saying thanks. :)

And more photos

 

My bike. So pretty. Had a little mishapp with my back water cages. It was OK I improvised and all was good.

This picture here, there is a story.  After the bike ride I stayed to myself for a bit. I had to decompress and gather my thoughts about the ride. What I did. What I will do differently on race day. You know basically go over a plan with myself in my head. My plan 'Ride like I stole that bike from YOUR MAMA' [insert the yo mama jokes]. 

Oh back to the picture. So I layed down and Tina was telling Christy..My gosh you are such a bitch. You are a bigger bitch then me. AND they were laughing. So basically there were talking about each other to each other. I could not stop laughing. So then I was like OK guys talk about me, lets laugh. There were like, bucket you are not a bitch. I was like YES I AM. No Really. They looked at me and laughed. It was fun.  This season I have really gotten to know my teammates. LOVE THEM ALL! Some took some time getting use to. Others are so quiet. It's the quiet ones I admire. They are quiet but they watch everything. But when I ask a question..oh lordy lordy.. it's awesome. We compare notes and say 'RIGHT! that is what I was saying.' It's fun.
  

Time to go home .. but before we left the Bay area we stopped at Zachary's in Pleasant Hill. My tummy did not love me after this but it was so worth it!

I love this photo of Kelie. If you know Kelie she is always on the go and always talking. All of a sudden the car grew quiet and I turned around and saw her fast asleep. Poor baby was tired. That's what she gets for training for a half Ironman. :)

To say I am not feeling the stress would be a lie. Even those with the best intentions sometimes put the stress on me. The way I see it, I have trained, I have pushed myself more then ever, I am going to go out and do my best. wow I'm scared and excited all at the same time.  

Week 21 & 22 - oh shit..it's almost time

Week 21 - Build Week - Anaheim to San Diego

Normally I don't get excited about long rides but I was pretty excited about this one. Why? Well because my hip had been feeling better and I knew I could do it. 

My average speed for the ride was 11.6ph - which for me was pretty awesome. I've look at my ride details from the week before and I was at 10.6 mph. I call that a huge improvement. :)

I was able to complete 64 out of the 80 miles. We ran short on time and I had to stop or else I wouldn't make the train on time. Honestly I'm happy with the time and distance. I was able to complete the 64 pretty much injury free. I did bike with an ice pack for a few hours - talk about yummy coldness. I know sounds odd, but it is what works for me.

 Being behind my friend Bobbi really helped. I didn't want to ride alone and in order to do that I had to keep up with her. It really did help me go faster. Thank you Bobbi! Yeah and helmet pictures are really 'fugly'. 

 The best part of the ride, for me at least, was riding through Camp Pendelton. I would look over and see signs for the firing range, and then the mess hall..memories. I even loved seeing the family carnival being put on by the MCCS. Yeah the base it self is boring but just being there made me happy. I gave the MP at the guard gate my cutest 'Semper Fi' and I got an 'OhhRah'. Yeah it's like that. OK you had to be there. 

 

After the ride, a nice cold gluten free beer. Yes it was delicious and totally worth it. 

Went home and took the best ice bath with some epson salt and added some bubbles for fun. 

 

The baby shower for baby Nicholas Alexander

This isn't training related but I just want to post about it. The next day I thew my son and his girlfriend, Natalie, a baby shower. I haven't downloaded my camera photos but here are a few I took from my son.  

 

One of my cousins mentioned that the baby shower was so Pinterest like. Have to admit with my busy schedule it was all put together with ideas from Pinterest. It really made it stress free on my part.

Our little mama was not able to attend :( she was put on bedrest a few days before the shower. My son came up with the idea of Skype-ing her as he opened the presents. Technology..love it. I don't Skype so I loved the idea of doing that. 

Week 22 - Recovery Week.

This week went by so fast. Work has been super busy Traing has been going well and the hip is still feeling great. I've been taping it and that makes a huge difference. Tape and ice ice! I got this new stuff called RockSauce by Rocket Tape. I smell like an old lady but it's amazing! Anyway..it works! 

We train and take funny photos. 

 Ladies..Jay is not flexible. Yep that is what he said.

 
Saturdays' ride was in Westlake. We laughed when we realized it was only a 2 hour ride with a 1 hour run. 

My ride went pretty well. My average speed was 11.4 mph. My hip felt good - telling you this taping thing works. I even tested out my aerobars and let me tell you I love them things.  I iced right afterwards and then went on a 1 hour run. By a fast runner's standards I am slow, by my broken hip standards I ran like a rock star. Any day I am without pain is a rock star type of day.

No photos to post.  

I was also presented the Spirit Award by my friend and teammate Kelie. It was such an honor to know I can motivate and inspire my teammates. Thank you Kelie you really made my day. 

Sunday was another day of Aqua Jogging. Uneventful but nice. I love recovery week.

I know not much excitement in my post, I promise the next one will be full of adventure, mystery and maybe I'll even throw in some romance. Maybe. 

Week 20 - 6 more weeks until Ironman 70.3 Vineman

 (I Goggled '6' and this image popped up.

Have no idea what it is but lets just go with it.)

This week FLEW and I mean FLEW by. The swims are feeling great, the runs are feeling great and even being on the bike felt great. Well as great as great could be. Our bike ride this weekend was 60 miles, I was only able to complete 54 of it. I didn't start my Garmin right away so my distance is off by a mile or so, but still it was a crazy amount of mileage. 

See training details here. 


I was a little afraid because we were going to be doing a bit of hill work. My hip was OK up until around mile 45.  that is where I had to turn around and head down.  

 The whole ride I had been feeling pretty good. I was lost in my thoughts, checking out the ocean, the surfers, the families, the pretty houses, it was over all a great day. 

When I went to get off my bike that is when the soreness hit. I couldn't lift my leg over my bike. When I finally got it over my bike it was a little painful. OK I am downplaying it - it hurt on the pain scale a 6. Iced it right away, thanks to my wonderful teammates who had ice on hand. 

I didn't take any pictures while riding. I really wish I would have, it was such a beautiful day. All I have to show for it is this wonderful bruise.  I know pretty gross looking. Since I wear dresses to work I can't really hide it.

Sunday I was back to Aqua Jogging. I was 'aqua jogging' for 3 hours. Hows does one do it for 3 hours? With friends and great conversations. 

Click Here and read all about the benefits of Aqua Jogging.

---

On the home front I want to write about a great brother in law. He has been fighting cancer for over a year now and he was told yesterday it has metastasized into his lungs.  Brian has a heart of gold and always puts his family first. Prayers needed please. 

And Brian - 'Bald is sexy'. Google proves it with lots of ohh la llaaa images. :) At least for me anyway.